Turn Up the Love: Tips to Make Your Partner More Romantic

11 min readDec 20, 2019

Romance is the lifeblood of any relationship. It’s what keeps the spark alive, what makes ordinary moments extraordinary, and what helps you and your partner feel connected on a deep, emotional level. However, as time goes on, many couples find that the romance in their relationship starts to fade. Whether it’s due to the demands of daily life, changes in priorities, or simply taking each other for granted, the result is often the same — a relationship that feels less vibrant and more routine.

But don’t worry — romance isn’t something that just happens or disappears without warning. It can be nurtured, cultivated, and even reignited, no matter how long you’ve been together.

This blog post will provide you with practical, actionable tips to help make your partner more romantic, so you can both enjoy a relationship that’s filled with love, passion, and connection. Let’s turn up the love!

Understanding Romance: What Does It Mean to Be Romantic?

Before diving into how to make your partner more romantic, it’s important to understand what romance actually means. Romance isn’t just about grand gestures like surprise vacations or candlelit dinners (although those can certainly help!). It’s about expressing love, affection, and appreciation in ways that make your partner feel cherished and valued.

Romance can be:

Small acts of kindness: A simple note in your partner’s lunchbox, a text message saying “I love you,” or a spontaneous hug.
Thoughtful surprises: Bringing home their favorite dessert, planning a date night, or running a bath after a long day.
Quality time together: Prioritizing time together, listening to each other, and making your partner feel like the most important person in the world.

Ultimately, romance is about making your partner feel loved, understood, and appreciated in ways that resonate with them personally.

Why Romance Fades in Relationships

Romance often fades in long-term relationships for a variety of reasons. Here are a few common culprits:

Routine and Complacency: As couples settle into a routine, they may start to take each other for granted. The excitement of the early days fades, and romantic gestures become less frequent.
Busy Lives: Work, children, and other responsibilities can take up a lot of time and energy, leaving little room for romance. When you’re exhausted at the end of the day, planning a romantic evening might be the last thing on your mind.
Different Expectations: Sometimes, partners have different ideas of what romance looks like. One person might value grand gestures, while the other prefers small, everyday acts of love. This disconnect can lead to unmet expectations and disappointment.
Emotional Distance: If there are unresolved conflicts or communication issues in the relationship, it can create emotional distance, making it harder for both partners to feel romantic.

Understanding why romance fades can help you identify areas where you and your partner might need to make some changes. The good news is that romance can be rekindled, and with the right approach, you can help your partner become more romantic.

1. Communicate Your Needs Clearly and Kindly

The foundation of any strong relationship is communication. If you want your partner to be more romantic, the first step is to express your desires clearly and kindly. Avoid making it seem like a criticism or complaint; instead, frame it as something you would love to experience more of in your relationship.

Example:

Instead of: “You never do anything romantic anymore.”
Try: “I really loved it when we used to have surprise date nights. It made me feel so special. I’d love to bring that back into our relationship.”

By expressing your desires in a positive and loving way, you’re more likely to get a positive response from your partner.

2. Lead by Example

Sometimes, the best way to inspire romance in your partner is to be romantic yourself. Show them what romance looks like by taking the initiative and planning thoughtful gestures. This could be anything from surprising them with breakfast in bed, organizing a special date night, or simply expressing your love in small, everyday ways.

When your partner sees you putting effort into being romantic, it can inspire them to do the same. Plus, it sets a positive tone for your relationship, making it more likely that they will reciprocate.

Ideas for Leading by Example:

Plan a surprise outing to a place that has special meaning for both of you.
Write them a heartfelt letter or leave a sweet note where they’ll find it.
Cook their favorite meal and set up a cozy, candlelit dinner at home.

3. Create a Romantic Atmosphere

The environment you create can have a big impact on how romantic your partner feels. If your home is filled with clutter and distractions, it can be hard to get in the mood for romance. On the other hand, a clean, inviting space can set the stage for romantic moments.

Tips for Creating a Romantic Atmosphere:

Lighting: Soft, warm lighting is key. Candles, fairy lights, or dim lamps can create a cozy, intimate atmosphere.
Scent: Scents like lavender, vanilla, or sandalwood are known for their relaxing and romantic qualities. Consider using essential oils, scented candles, or incense.
Music: Play soft, romantic music in the background to set the mood.
Comfort: Make sure your space is comfortable and inviting. Fluffy pillows, warm blankets, and a tidy room can make a big difference.

By creating an environment that encourages romance, you’re making it easier for your partner to feel romantic and inspired.

4. Surprise Them with Thoughtful Gestures

Surprises are a great way to inject some romance into your relationship. Thoughtful gestures show your partner that you’re thinking about them and that you care about their happiness.

Ideas for Thoughtful Surprises:

Random Acts of Kindness: Do something unexpected that will make their day easier or more enjoyable, like picking up their favorite coffee or taking care of a chore they usually handle.
Surprise Date Night: Plan a surprise date that caters to their interests. It doesn’t have to be extravagant — sometimes the simplest dates are the most romantic.
Gift Giving: Surprise them with a small, meaningful gift that shows you’ve been paying attention to their likes and dislikes.

The key to a successful surprise is knowing what your partner values. Pay attention to what makes them smile and try to incorporate that into your surprises.

5. Encourage Open and Honest Conversations About Romance

Encourage open and honest conversations about what romance means to both of you. This can help you understand each other’s expectations and desires, and it can also help you find ways to meet in the middle if your ideas of romance differ.

Conversation Starters:

“What does romance mean to you?”
“What are some things I could do to make you feel more loved and appreciated?”
“Is there anything you’d like to see more of in our relationship?”

By discussing these topics openly, you can work together to build a more romantic relationship that meets both of your needs.

6. Show Appreciation for Their Efforts

When your partner does something romantic, no matter how small, show your appreciation. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in encouraging more romantic behavior. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts and how it made you feel.

Ways to Show Appreciation:

Verbally express your gratitude: “Thank you so much for planning this surprise. It really made my day.”
Return the favor with a romantic gesture of your own.
Show affection, whether it’s through a hug, kiss, or loving touch.

When your partner sees how much their efforts mean to you, they’ll be more likely to continue being romantic.

7. Encourage Shared Experiences

Shared experiences help deepen your bond and create lasting memories. These experiences don’t have to be grand or expensive; what matters is that you’re spending quality time together and enjoying each other’s company.

Ideas for Shared Experiences:

Travel Together: Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a day trip to a nearby town, exploring new places together can be a very romantic experience.
Take a Class Together: Cooking, dancing, or painting — learning something new together can be a fun and romantic way to connect.
Spend Time Outdoors: Go for a hike, have a picnic, or watch the sunset together. Nature has a way of bringing people closer.

By creating opportunities for shared experiences, you’re fostering a deeper connection and making it easier for romance to flourish.

8. Keep the Element of Surprise Alive

One of the reasons romance fades is because everything becomes predictable. To keep the spark alive, it’s important to maintain an element of surprise in your relationship. This doesn’t mean you need to constantly plan elaborate surprises, but rather, keep things fresh and exciting by occasionally stepping out of your routine.

Ways to Keep the Element of Surprise:

Spontaneous Dates: Instead of always planning dates in advance, try being spontaneous. Surprise your partner with a last-minute outing or a fun activity at home.
Unexpected Gifts: Give them a small, meaningful gift for no particular reason other than to show you’re thinking of them.
Change Up Your Routine: Try something new together, like a different type of cuisine, a new hobby, or even rearranging your living space.

Surprises add an element of excitement to your relationship, making it feel more dynamic and alive.

9. Practice Active Listening and Emotional Support

One of the most romantic things you can do for your partner is to listen to them — really listen. When your partner feels heard and understood, it strengthens your emotional connection and makes them more likely to feel romantic towards you.

Tips for Active Listening:

Give Them Your Full Attention: Put away distractions like your phone or TV when they’re talking to you.
Acknowledge Their Feelings: Show that you understand and empathize with their emotions.
Ask Thoughtful Questions: Encourage them to share more by asking open-ended questions.

In addition to listening, offering emotional support when your partner is going through a tough time is crucial. Being there for them, offering a shoulder to cry on, or just being a calm presence can deepen your connection and make them feel more loved.

10. Celebrate Milestones and Special Occasions

Celebrating milestones and special occasions is a great way to infuse romance into your relationship. Whether it’s an anniversary, a promotion, or just a “just because” celebration, these moments provide an opportunity to show your partner how much you care.

Ways to Celebrate:

Anniversaries: Plan a special date or recreate your first date to relive the memories.
Birthdays: Make their birthday all about them, catering to their favorite activities and foods.
“Just Because” Celebrations: Don’t wait for a special occasion to celebrate. Plan a surprise date or give them a thoughtful gift just to show your love.

These celebrations remind your partner of the love and commitment you share, helping to keep the romance alive.

11. Prioritize Physical Affection

Physical touch is a powerful way to express love and affection. Whether it’s holding hands, hugging, kissing, or cuddling, these small acts of physical affection can help maintain a strong romantic connection.

Ways to Increase Physical Affection:

Start the Day with a Hug: Begin your day with a warm embrace to set a positive tone.
Hold Hands: Whether you’re walking down the street or sitting on the couch, holding hands is a simple yet intimate gesture.
Cuddle More: Spend time cuddling on the couch or in bed. It’s a comforting way to connect physically and emotionally.

Prioritizing physical affection helps reinforce your bond and can make both of you feel more connected and in love.

12. Cultivate a Sense of Playfulness

Romance doesn’t always have to be serious — sometimes, the most romantic moments come from a sense of playfulness and fun. Being playful with your partner can create a lighthearted, joyful atmosphere that makes romance come naturally.

Ways to Be Playful:

Flirt with Each Other: Just because you’ve been together for a while doesn’t mean you should stop flirting. Playful teasing and flirtatious comments can keep the spark alive.
Have Fun Together: Whether it’s playing a board game, having a tickle fight, or trying out a fun new activity, having fun together helps you both relax and enjoy each other’s company.
Be Spontaneous: Don’t be afraid to be silly or spontaneous. A surprise dance in the kitchen or an impromptu picnic can add a playful, romantic vibe to your relationship.

Playfulness keeps things fresh and exciting, reminding you both why you fell in love in the first place.

13. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation

Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your partner is one of the most effective ways to keep romance alive. When you make a habit of noticing and appreciating the little things your partner does, it fosters a positive atmosphere in your relationship and encourages more romantic behavior.

Ways to Practice Gratitude:

Say Thank You: Don’t take the small things for granted. Whether they made dinner or simply listened to you after a long day, let them know you appreciate it.
Write It Down: Consider keeping a gratitude journal where you jot down things you appreciate about your partner. Sharing this with them can be a very romantic gesture.
Give Compliments: Regularly compliment your partner on things you love about them — whether it’s their appearance, their sense of humor, or their kindness.

Gratitude and appreciation create a positive feedback loop in your relationship, encouraging more romantic and loving behavior from both of you.

14. Embrace Vulnerability and Emotional Intimacy

True romance requires vulnerability and emotional intimacy. When both partners feel safe to express their deepest thoughts, fears, and desires, it creates a strong emotional bond that is the foundation of lasting romance.

Ways to Build Emotional Intimacy:

Share Your Feelings: Be open about your emotions, both the positive and the challenging ones. This helps build trust and understanding.
Be Supportive: Offer support and reassurance when your partner is going through a tough time. Let them know you’re there for them no matter what.
Create a Safe Space: Foster an environment where both of you feel safe to be yourselves, without fear of judgment or criticism.

Emotional intimacy deepens your connection and makes it easier for both of you to be romantic and loving.

15. Keep Romance Alive with Consistency

Finally, one of the most important aspects of maintaining romance in a relationship is consistency. Romance isn’t something you do once and then forget about — it’s an ongoing process that requires regular attention and effort. By consistently putting in the effort to be romantic, you’re showing your partner that they’re a priority in your life.

Tips for Consistency:

Make Romance a Habit: Incorporate small romantic gestures into your daily routine, like leaving a love note, sending a sweet text, or planning a weekly date night.
Check-In Regularly: Regularly check in with your partner to see how they’re feeling about the relationship and if there’s anything they’d like more of.
Keep Growing Together: As your relationship evolves, continue to find new ways to be romantic and to connect with each other on a deeper level.

Consistency is key to keeping the romance alive in any relationship. By making romance a regular part of your life, you’re ensuring that your love continues to grow and flourish.

Conclusion

Romance is an essential component of a healthy, happy relationship. While it’s natural for the initial spark to fade over time, that doesn’t mean it has to disappear altogether. By taking proactive steps to cultivate romance in your relationship, you can keep the love alive and ensure that both you and your partner feel cherished and connected.

Remember, romance doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive — it’s the small, thoughtful gestures and the genuine expressions of love that make the biggest impact. So, turn up the love, inspire your partner to be more romantic, and enjoy the deep, fulfilling connection that comes from a relationship filled with romance.